Atx

Asking myself currently, “If you could go back 4 years, what would you have done differently.” In a way I wish I would have focused more on making better grades, I wish I would have gone to music school, I wish I would have pushed my mind to think beyond the current events and troubles of that time, I wish I would have educated myself and broadened what I understood about the world, religion, ideologies, philosophy, politics, feelings. 

I’m currently in Austin Texas on my last semester at a private university majoring in Photocommunications (something I have grown increasingly un-passionate for) sitting with someone who has endlessly inspired me on and off for the past year. An imperfect human being whom I have always adored and been completely intrigued and fascinated by. Someone much older but so young hearted and passionate. I wouldn’t have met this person had I gone on a different path. It is him, it is me, the bullshit events over these few years that have shaped where I am now. And I am THANKFUL. 

Over and over again I wonder “what am I doing, where I am going” and countlessly over the last weeks I am reminded through the power of music and emotion that I am exactly where I am supposed to be, things are always turning even on the most mundane days. I am in awe at the beauty of what I have been shown musically recently which has driven a sword through my heart. I am amazed that I am able to have the ability to hear, to understand how to make melodies and frequencies formulate into a cohesive sound. I am utterly in love with the emotion, the movement and the songs in my head endlessly running.

Its a Sunday night and I didn’t have the most interesting day, but we played music and it made me want to reflect. Oh the energy, oh what a powerful understanding it is to know what this is like. 

That being said, the future, the hope and daydreams drive me. The happiness and love that I feel now drive me. I CAN do ANYTHING. I CAN go to music school one day, I CAN be with someone I thought would never give me a chance, and I CAN be confident in who I am even if I have no idea what I’m doing. So much love, so much beauty, so much potential. The cosmos need me, they need you too because we are both here in this reality making it happen so lets soar together in this universe. There will be long days, bad days, boring days, repetitive days, loving days, sad days, inspiring days and all kinds of other days. How wild is it that we have the opportunity to experience this.